Divorce is a legal proceeding to produce a court order that terminates the economic and personal union of two people. While it is indeed an important legal matter, it is also a momentous emotional and personal milestone for the spouses and family involved.
It would be impossible and unwise to remove emotion completely from decision-making throughout the divorce process. But it can be helpful to remember a few lessons learned about keeping emotions in check.
Seek professional guidance
You cannot deny how you feel, nor would that be healthy. But it can be a good idea to understand your emotions and learn ways to cope with them at this time of high stress and sometimes of grief or rage. Consulting with a therapist or a divorce coach to help with your emotional experience may be wise and empowering.
What your gut tells you is important, but usually it should not be your only consideration. If your divorce is high in conflict and animosity, trying to balance your emotions with objective advice from an experienced family lawyer can help you to stay on track to smart decision-making.
Decisions in strategy and negotiation
Letting resentment prevent you from reaching smart compromises with your soon-to-be ex may result in outcomes that could have been better for you. Maybe you cannot reach a settlement as beneficial as it could have been, or the judge must make decisions for you if you cannot settle. The court’s decisions may not be what you expected or felt you deserved, so consider carefully what is motivating you to reject compromise that might be better in the long run.
Sometimes mediation can help people get through impasses in negotiation that can be tied to emotional overload. Refusing to make progress on an issue for the principal of it may not ultimately help you (or your children).
We will continue to discuss similar issues in the coming weeks.