Bring the complete picture of your marriage to your meeting with legal counsel
Today we look at how to prepare for your first appointment with a family lawyer in anticipation of divorce. Of course, bring information, questions and goals. Also, be ready to tell the attorney about how the marriage went south, including things that may feel embarrassing, upsetting or intensely personal, but that may be important to meeting your objectives in the case.
Be honest and open
Marriage allows two people to coexist and interrelate at a unique level, dysfunction, issues of contention or tough family circumstances up front to prepare your strategy, especially if there are custody or visitation questions.
Preparation for the meeting
Here are some of the things to think about or gather before the first appointment:
- Assets and income: Real estate, personal property, money, investments, accounts, retirement assets, vehicles, collectables, antiques, assets held abroad, business interests, intellectual property cryptocurrency, employment benefits and perks, and other categories of significance. The lawyer will likely have forms to assist with this inventory. Are you concerned your spouse may have hidden or squandered assets?
- Debts and costs: Make a list of liabilities with current balances. Consider household expenses and those related to children like educational, child care, lessons and others.
- Questions: How long with it take? Will we have to appear in court? What are the legal fees and what is the payment arrangement? What other related costs will arise? Ask about issues of concern unique to your family. Will your divorce documents be public? How much control will I have of my children’s lives? Will past controversial behavior of mine impact my parental rights? Restrictions on what I can do with money or property during this process? What about the use of joint accounts? Negotiation, mediation or litigation? Who should move out of the marital home?
- Official documents: Do you have any premarital or postmarital agreements? Think about important records like titles, financial statements and tax returns.
Bring the story of your marriage. Jot down the major events in your relationship that got you to this point.
Final thoughts
Communicate your concerns, goals and priorities up front as they will shape the strategy and process you choose with the guidance and information from your attorney. Go into the meeting with an open mind. You will learn a lot and some of it may be surprising. Remember, your lawyer works for you and no question or concern is too small.
Lastly, be sure to communicate any worry you may have about your or your children’s safety if your spouse has displayed behaviors of concern. You and your lawyer can discuss options like restraining orders in the event of domestic abuse. Again, difficult to discuss but vitally important to address in a timely manner with a legal professional.
