Divorce is an emotional journey that can leave you feeling drained, disoriented and overwhelmed. Even when divorce is the right decision, it often brings grief, anxiety and uncertainty. You may be mourning the loss of a shared future, adjusting to new routines or navigating co-parenting challenges. These emotional stressors can take a toll on your physical and mental health if left unaddressed.
That’s where self-care comes in. Self-care isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity, especially when you’re weathering the storms of a difficult divorce.
According to Psychology Today, divorce ranks among the most stressful life events, comparable to the death of a loved one. That’s why prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish – it’s survival.
What self-care really means
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and spa days (though those can help!). It’s about creating space to heal, reflect and rebuild. It includes:
- Emotional care: Seeking therapy, journaling, talking to a trusted friend, leaning on your support network
- Physical care: Eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep
- Mental care: Setting boundaries, limiting exposure to conflict and practicing mindfulness
Self-care should be personal and intentional. What works for another may not work for you – and that’s okay. The key is to find practices that genuinely help you feel grounded, supported and more like yourself. Whether it’s a morning walk, a creative hobby or simply saying “no” more often, your self-care practices should reflect your unique needs and values.
Practical self-care tips during divorce
Here are some ideas for actionable ways to care for yourself during this transition:
1. Establish a routine
Divorce can disrupt your daily life. Creating a consistent routine can restore a sense of stability and control. If you have children, they will benefit from consistency and predictability, too.
2. Limit legal stress
Let your attorney handle the legal heavy lifting. Recognize that divorce proceedings can be emotionally taxing, and plan accordingly. For example, if you have an upcoming hearing, schedule time in advance to prepare – ideally with your lawyer’s guidance – so you feel informed and supported. Just as important, plan for recovery time afterward. Give yourself space to decompress and recharge.
3. Seek professional support
A licensed therapist can help you process emotions, develop coping strategies and build resilience. Therapy is not a sign of weakness. It’s a powerful tool for growth, and it can equip you to better manage life’s inevitable challenges post-divorce, too. If you have children, they may also benefit from therapy both during and after divorce.
4. Stay connected
Isolation can intensify feelings of stress, sadness and anxiety. Divorce often amplifies isolation. Many of the people you once relied on for emotional support may no longer be in your life. This makes it even more important to stay connected with those who remain and to actively seek out new, supportive relationships. Reach out to trusted friends, join a divorce support group or connect with family. Surrounding yourself with a strong support system can make a world of difference.
5. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness practices – such as breathwork, meditation or yoga – can help you stay grounded and embodied. Find what works for you and make it a regular practice. Even a few moments of mindfulness on a daily basis can reduce anxiety, improve focus, and help you respond to stress with greater clarity and calm.
6. Rebuild your identity
Divorce often forces you to rediscover who you are outside of your marriage. This can be an exciting opportunity to explore new interests, revisit old passions or set personal goals. Whether taking a class, traveling or trying your hand at new creative endeavors, these experiences can help you reconnect with yourself and rediscover your identity.
You deserve to heal
Divorce is a difficult chapter in life, but it’s not the whole story. Self-care can transform the divorce experience. It can help you move through the divorce process with strength and dignity. It can empower you to emerge from this experience stronger, wiser and ready for what’s next.