Divorce can shake the foundation of your life, which will not continue in the ways you expected when you made your vows. You made plans for major milestones with your spouse – having and raising children, building a home together, traveling, creating holiday traditions, supporting one another emotionally and financially, and retiring.
It can be disconcerting when your life plans are pulled out from under you leaving you to craft an uncertain future. Especially when you have children, feelings of profound responsibility and worry may plague you, to say nothing of other emotions that can interfere with your life such as anger, grief, fear or confusion. You may face suddenly face parenting a child with special needs or caring for aging relatives alone and without support.
Wherever you are on this journey, consider making New Year’s resolutions as we anticipate 2023. Be sure they are attainable, measurable and
Self-care goals
Do you know the instructions heard at the beginning of any flight about how to get oxygen in the case of cabin decompression? Put on your own mask first, then assist your children or other passengers with their masks. The idea applies to anyone who is feeling self-doubt or worry because of divorce. To successfully parent, start a new job, care for an aging relative, navigate life with less money, move or make other major life changes, you need to take care of yourself first. This can be hard for a spouse who has been focused on others for years, but especially now, you must nurture yourself to stay calm and healthy. Ideas for taking care of yourself may include:
- Exercise: The Internet contains vast resources about the benefits of movement on physical and mental health and the reduction of anxiety.
- Negative emotions: Try to leg go of anger and blame. Instead, focus on your strengths and positive qualities. Consider talking to a counselor or therapist about reacting to toxic emotions in a healthy way.
- Financial health: Stay on top of your changing finances. Consult a financial professional if you need assistance with budgeting, investing or financial planning.
- And others
Parenting goals
For most divorced parents, the emotional health and preservation of a sense of normalcy for the kids is of ultimate importance. Potential resolutions concerning your children include:
- Be a cooperative co-parent: Do not argue or raise your voice with your ex in front of the children. You do not have to always be right. Be creative about resolving disputes between the two of you. Kids are smart; they pick up on conflict between their parents and it can harm them. Sometimes giving in on a minor issue now can bring future returns when you need flexibility later.
- Shield children from legal drama: They probably do not need to know what is happening in the divorce, especially if it concerns unflattering allegations about parenting or personal behavior of parents. If the divorce has landed in the courtroom, hearing about or being present there can be confusing or shocking for kids.
- And others
Takeaways
Care for yourself this year. Do not let divorce stop your progress. From everyone at our law firm, all the best in 2023.
