You said “I do” because you saw your relationship as a lifelong commitment, hopefully with a little bit of magic. So, when things do not work out – for whatever reason – the end of a marriage brings a variety of challenging emotions like grief, loneliness and loss, or anger, or fear. Even if it was your choice to initiate divorce or you feel it is the right step to take, Valentine’s Day still puts pressure on people who are not currently in a picture-perfect romance.
Feeling that Valentine pressure in the midst of divorce litigation can be a personal challenge.
Today we consider some coping techniques for getting through it and putting things into perspective.
During this season of love, every kind of media and every store display scream with messages about being in love. Do not buy into the hype. Consider and focus on the strength all kinds of love in your life bring even beyond the kind in a romantic relationship:
- Irreplaceable love of your children
- Close friends and neighbors
- Parents and siblings
- Extended family
And sometimes, a feeling of affection for all of humanity and the good people do for others can be uplifting on a difficult day. Your spiritual beliefs may also bring comfort and strength.
Take the bull by the horns
What will you do to best experience Valentine’s Day during your divorce? Stay home in solitude with music, candles and a good book? Head out with your friends for dinner and drinks? Go to a spa for some pampering? Get out into nature to decompress and commune with the natural world? Do physical activity like a long run, a class, a tennis match, yoga? Do volunteer work or help an elderly loved one? Movie night with your children? Seek spiritual solace in your own way?
Be intentional and in control of the day. Be easy on yourself and seek gratitude for what is grounding in your life despite the current transition to a new phase. We are under no illusion that facing Valentine’s Day while getting through divorce is pleasant, but you are up for it as you look forward to spring and new beginnings.
As far as legal matters go, reach out to your attorney for assistance whenever you need that support.